World's Worst Liar
by The Nanny Is About
Summary: Written for Rosa Clearwater's STaying Up All Night Competition. The story of how Filch got the Marauder's Map.


**Written for Rosa Clearwater's Staying Up All Night Competition. I got Remus Lupin and I had to write about what would make him stay up all night, and it's friends!**

"Shut up, Lily! We can't get caught!" I said, putting my hand over her mouth, while she raised an eyebrow, "If we get caught, you'll get thrown in detention." I pointed out, she shrugged her shoulders, her lips smirking under my large hand, "Jams will find out we were sneaking around together. And we were out after hours, too." Now was that below the belt? Yes, but I got her to look shameful.

Don't get me wrong, we're not hooking up or anything! James is my best friend; I wouldn't do that to him. After everything he's done for me, everything he's still dong for me? I could never betray him like that. Sure, Lily's pretty but she's not pretty enough for me to be doing that! Lily and James have, finally, started dating. It was about time; too, everyone was tired of them making goo-goo eyes at each other. James is pathetic, he's worse than I am! And that's saying something! Somehow, Lily isn't repulsed by him so I guess that means they're meant to be.

At least that's what James thinks, Lily is the only topic he's capable of talking about. Anyways, you're all probably wondering why we are sneaking around. Lily wants to surprise James by asking him to Hogsmeade, on the night of a party at the Three Broomsticks. So she thought she should learn how to dance, I've been assured it's a formal dance, regardless of the fact that James most definitely doesn't know how to dance.

But this is Lily; she doesn't care if James won't even know how to hold her properly. She just wants to make sure, 'Just in case, Remus!' she continuously says. Oh Lily, you're lucky you're nice. That woman is crazy, I'm telling you! You think she would calm James, that's the image she puts up at least, but no! If anything she rivals him. Now who ever thought that was possible?

Women, I'll never understand them.

"Shoot, here comes Professor Stafford!" I said, looking at the Marauders Map. I still feel a tad guilty that I helped make this, but it helps even the best of students out. If you hang out with Sirius, Peter, and James you're guaranteed trouble, even if you are the adult in the group. Trust me when I say, I really needed this map to stay a Prefect. If I was caught even half the time I was out of bed, I'd spend my whole life in detention.

"Remus! Hide the map! HIDE THE MAP!" Lily started screaming, which didn't help. In my attempt to cover her mouth to stop her screaming, I dropped the map.

"Well well well, what do we have here? Someone's getting in trouble tonight Mr. Lupin." Argus Filch's voice came from right behind me. Oh this is so awkward, I ended up pushing Lily against the wall so now it looks like we were up to something, well, inappropriate. I immediately jumped back, unfortunately blushing - I had known Lily since we were fifth year prefects, but never would I imagine us in a situation like this. "Let's take a look at this, shall we, Ms. Evans?" Filch gave Lily the creepiest smile in the world, and proceeded to pick up the Marauders Map.

"NO! I mean, it's just a map - you, you don't have to look at it. Just shows Hogwarts, you know. I get lost a lot, no directional skills at all!" Lily said to Filch, pleading with him. In response, Filch gave her a look, a Filch-y look that I couldn't begin to describe. The award for world's worst liar goes to Lily Evans! And the award for creepiest person ever goes to Argus Filch! They grow up so fast!

"Hey Filch, is that a _wolf_ attacking Mrs. Norris?" I said, and when Filch turned around I put my wand on the map and whispered, "Mischief Managed!" Just in time. "Oh, sorry I must've been seeing things." Thankfully, Filch hadn't looked at the Map, so he didn't know that it disappeared.

"Parchment? You expect me to believe this is parchment? There some kind of drug on here, Lupin?" Do I look like I do muggle drugs? Because I don't think it looks like I do drugs..."Would explain why you're always missing school, out on drug binges. I'll inform Dumbledore, maybe I'll get to go back to the old form of punishment. I miss those days; damn kids deserve it 'round here." The last part was muttered on his way back.

"Shoot, Lily, James and Sirius are going to kill me! I JUST LOST THE MAP! Oh shit!" I swore, which wasn't a common practice for me. I thought it was a thoroughly unattractive habit that I tried to stay away from.

"Did the Great Remus Lupin just swear? Oh Moony, you're a crack-up!" Lily said, busting into laughter. "We should get back to the common room, no dance lessons tonight. Filch'll just come back and check, anyways." Lily finished and started heading back to the Tower.

Women.

**You know the drill, R&R!**


End file.
